How I’ve transitioned from Tears to Cheers
Everyone has had a bad experience in the demise of a relationship, and if you haven’t … it’s probably coming, or you’re the luckiest son of a gun on this planet. 😉
The way you feel or the way the breakup affects you is completely individual to you. No one can tell you it’s not that bad.
I’ve definitely had my fair share of rubbish when it comes to relationships, and that just speaks volumes for the men I attract I guess. I’ve been thinking a lot recently about how broken and low I felt when I’ve come out of relationships and how I never thought I would feel normal again, well that just wasn’t true at all now, was it. I mean look at me, I’m happier than ever and I’m actually getting to the point where I am grateful for those awful relationships for showing me exactly what I don’t want. It’s all a learning curve.
I’ve tried all methods of moving on;
- Crying day and night, not leaving the safety of my house and mentally naming all of my future cats.
- Throwing mega tantrums at any given opportunity – I’m literally a professional tantrum thrower and can summon a hissy fit from outta nowhere.
- Jumping on the next man I find. By this I mean moving from one relationship to another in the blink of an eye, no matter how dysfunctional he is.
- Drink. Drink to forget, drink to commiserate, drink to numb the pain, just drink.
- Changing professions to super-secret stalker. I’m not too proud of this one, even though it did confirm that I could definitely apply for a job at MI6 with those skills! That is if they’d accept ‘finding out where that cheating scumbag disappeared to after he just upped and left without so much as a damn goodbye.’
- Analysing every inch of my body, listing everything that is wrong with me. (I actually found one of these lists over the weekend, so stay tuned for a whole post dedicated to this point!)
- Paying through the nose for a professional to help me ‘work through’ those feelings of anxiety and inadequacy.
- Telling myself that I am a ‘Strong, Independent, White Woman, who doesn’t need a relationship to define her.’ Cue sassy finger snap.
- Forcing myself to go out and do things for me, anything from going for a coffee with a friend, to booking that spa break with my sister and mum.
- Just living. Waking up each day and getting on with my life, putting on a brave face and telling myself and everyone else that I’m ok, and pretty soon I wasn’t having to lie anymore. You know what they say, fake it til you make it, and that’s 100% what I did.
Now, I’m no expert, in fact my failings in the romance department set me at a status so far from expert its comical, but I think that sharing our own ways of dealing with breakups/end of relationships not only tells people in a roundabout way that eventually, no matter how long it takes, you will pull through the other side, it also lets people know that they are not alone with how they deal with things and if it works for you, that’s great, if it doesn’t, there are so many other people going through similar experiences, you’re not alone in how you feel.
To follow; blog posts on an experience of each of the above methods of moving on every Tuesday morning. There are some real goodun’s on the way lovelies!