What I’m not saying

Personal

31 Things I’m not telling you…

I am a complete mass of contradictions, I say one thing, but feel another. Here is a brief list of those pesky little things that I’m keeping to myself. Enjoy.

  1. I’m a flight risk – show me a little genuine attention and I’m suddenly an Olympic sprinter. Cartoon style cloud of dust where my body was.

 

  1. I do not know how to take a compliment seriously. “You’re really pretty.” Cue sassy come back from me.

 

  1. A compliment high for me can last anywhere between 3 seconds to 3 minutes, and never more. After that I feel awkward and uncomfortable, and I’ll most likely respond with an obscure attempt at a compliment… “You have a great breathing technique.”

 

  1. I’ve already made a fairly substantial opinion of you before our first date, I’m only there so you can prove me right.

 

  1. I rock a hard bitch exterior because inside is fraying patchwork. I’m not very good at sewing so I’d rather not have to fix it all again.

 

  1. I retain information like a sponge, waiting to catch you out on a lie (or stretched truth)

 

  1. That can work in your favour, as I’ll remember important details you tell me about your mums love for that one little boutique shop or your dads favourite sports team.

 

  1. I love to bake – if I really like you, I’ll bake something you’ve told me you like.

 

  1. I don’t have a lot of patience, but I rarely express this to someone I like.

 

  1. I take things to heart very easily, but I’ll never tell you that.

 

  1. I like nice things, but I value time more than anything.

 

  1. I analyse everything, trying to figure out whether you’re uncomfortable because you’re hiding something important, or because I’ve put the detective light on you.

 

  1. If you fail the dad handshake test, your days are numbered.

 

  1. I forgive easily, but never forget or fully respect again.

 

  1. If you can’t support yourself, emotionally, financially or mentally, it’s not going to happen.

 

  1. I have extremely high expectations of myself, and a lot of the time I forget this isn’t normal and expect those levels from others.

 

  1. I use comedy as a weapon. We argue, I comeback with a joke that has serious undertones. You’ll never know if I’m laughing, crying or screaming inside.

 

  1. I can react completely differently to the same situation, depending on the time of day, or day of the week. Good Luck with that one.

 

  1. My brain is like a minefield. Hit a trigger button and god only knows what’ll happen. Will I cry, will I run, will I stand up for myself? Who knows.

 

  1. Creepy, or not, I will at some point, fairly early on try to picture a future with you. I’m not getting any younger so I’d rather not waste my time with a Jack the Lad who wants at least another 10 notches on his bedpost before settling down.

 

  1. If you lie, I will find out. The truth hurts, but I’d rather a bit of pain earlier than a whole heap of pain prolonged.

 

  1. I’m judging your dress sense. You can dress well on a budget, so put those god awful Velcro trainers in the bin, with that faded misshapen hoodie.

 

  1. I’m judging your relationship with your parents. Family is important to me, if it isn’t to you, we’re just not meant to be.

 

  1. I’m judging the company you keep. Hanging around streets at 2am on a Wednesday night to catch a Blastoise with your friends is not what I would call ideal.

 

  1. I’m judging your job. I don’t care what you do, but if you constantly moan and complain about it, but do nothing to change it, I’m not prepared to be your sounding board.

 

  1. In fact, I’m judging everything possible to judge, and then some.

 

  1. I am looking for a reason to ghost you or cut ties with you.

 

  1. I expect everyone to let me down in some capacity. I expect the worst to avoid disappointment.

 

  1. I’ve spent all of my working life competing with other people, this mentality has transpired into my everyday life.

 

  1. You have to look out for number 1, so that’s what I do. Stand in my way, and I will step over you.

 

  1. I appear cold at first glance, and second glance, and third, come to think of it I don’t warm up until at least the 6th glance, by which time I’m already deemed emotionally damaged.

 

But you know what, I’m confident and happy with who I am and how I conduct myself and that is all that matters to me!

 

Love

 

Single in South Essex

xoxo

 

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4 thoughts on “What I’m not saying

  1. This is an awesome post. #25 is so me: I’m judging your job. I don’t care what you do, but if you constantly moan and complain about it, but do nothing to change it, I’m not prepared to be your sounding board.

    Liked by 1 person

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