Everyone has made mistakes, its ok. It’s an important part of learning, making mistakes, as long as you realise them and learn to correct them. This applies in everyday life – not just dating. But for now I’m referring to dating.
You meet a guy/a guy you already know shows additional interest in you, you get that butterfly feeling and its glorious.
A few conversations take place, and you end up swapping numbers. A date is set for in a weeks’ time but you just can’t wait to speak to him again.
You pick up your phone and tap out a cutesy little text. Eventually he replies (remember girls, he does have a life too.) the conversation flows slowly for a bit before coming to a natural end. You’re sad because you didn’t want to end the conversation, but you also have things you need to do (you have a life away from your phone!) but the following day, you really want to talk again. So you fire off another text.
This pattern continues for the week leading up to the date, by which time you’ve not only come across needy and desperate, but you’ve exhausted any and all conversation topics via text and are now awkwardly sipping your drink avoiding eye contact because its awkward, just sitting there in silence.
Girls, leave a little mystery. I would say a little text the day before the date to confirm an action plan is acceptable, but other than that, leave him be. Ultimately, if he wants to talk to you, he will, you just have to give him the chance.
I’ve made this mistake before, but I’ve recognised it and will not be repeating it. I’m currently chatting to a guy, who seems really nice by the way, but I haven’t initiated any conversations, he’s always been the one to text me first. We didn’t speak yesterday, which is fine, but old me would have text him something ridiculous this morning to strike up a conversation. New me however, is holding strong. He will text me when he’s good and ready. He’s been quite forthcoming with compliments and banter, which to me is a good sign, so if it was meant to be, it’ll happen.
This new haphazard attitude towards texting (or chasing) a bloke stemmed from 2 very one sided relationships, after that (and an exceptionally large bowl of Ben and Jerry’s mixed with a large Vino) I vowed never again to chase a man, the only exception being the ice-cream man – I would chase that van all day to get a 99 cone with a flake!
Single in South Essex