Getting back into the tinder game – I’ve received a few messages over the last few days, but I genuinely haven’t had time to check them until now, so here we go!
There were a few blinding chatup lines in amongst the boring ‘hi, thanks for matching’ messages, but there was one particular one that stood out to me, and the really sad part, is it reminded me of the sales team I used to work with. They were always told to Under Promise but Over Deliver, however, more often than not, it was a case of over promise, under deliver.
This is the beautifully crafted, well thought out message I received…
Notice the lack of punctuation, that’s the first negative mark against him. I mean come on, at least put the effort in and correctly punctuate your sentences!
The second negative mark is for blunt rudeness. Who on earth starts a conversation like that? On what planet did this bloke wake up and think to himself, ‘yes, today I will ask complete strangers about their gag reflex, or lack thereof.’
I can’t help but wonder when it became more normal to begin a conversation with some form of reference to sexual activity? Is it a case of keyboard warrior confidence? Would a man stop a woman on the street and ask if she’d like to take a ride on the fuck truck all the way down to pound town? Is it the anonymity of social media/online dating that allows these people (men and women!) to ask obscene questions, and more seriously, answer these questions with some degree of honesty, and are the lines of what is socially acceptable being blurred by flirtatious bios and revealing selfies?
Here are a few examples of conversation starters that are deemed normal online but would have someone branded a predator/creep in real life.
I am in no way slating online dating, I know a few people who have successfully found love online. But in a world where we spend more time looking at screens than looking at each other, have our views on boundaries gone completely out of the window? Is this open book policy that is adapted online, soon to make an appearance in real life? Will getting chatted up in a bar stop beginning with ‘Hey, let me buy you a drink.’ and start beginning with ‘Hi, what size are your tits, let me put my cock between them.’ (yes that is a genuine tinder line I was fed.)
Back to this theory of over promise and under deliver. I highly suspect (only suspect, I’m not about to go around testing this particular theory) that any man on tinder/POF/any variations of these sites, that bigs up the size of his member, is trying to convince himself that it is an above standard size more than he is trying to convince the recipients of his message. I would much prefer to find out how endowed a man is on my own terms, after he has surpassed the 3 dates and has made an acceptable effort to woo me. This way, I would not have any preconceived notions about how satisfied I could potentially be. You can bet your backside that I will not be impressed if I’ve been told it’s a bratwurst and I unzip to find a cocktail sausage.
Women do not need to be convinced a man is worth their time by a lie about the size of his appendage, because if you’re lying about it, you’re obviously aware that she will notice when you get her in to bed (or back seat of a car, or public toilets, or alley way – I don’t judge). From the fact that a man has engaged in sexual chatter, I’m assuming his end goal is nookie, which leads me back to over promise, under deliver. That poor girl will leave feeling betrayed and unsatisfied, and will not be returning for round 2.
Single in South Essex