One thing I absolutely adore about being single, is the opportunities to have more girls nights. Whether they involve getting glammed up and hitting the pubs/clubs/bars in Southend on Sea or Leigh, or donning comfy PJs and fluffy socks with a glass of wine (or 4!) and a film.
Quite frankly, I think I am reaching the point where I am too old to go clubbing in Mayhem, and I am very quickly thundering towards the acceptable age boundaries of Dick De Vignes. I went to Mayhem with my younger sister and a few friends about a month ago, and I honestly was one of the people pushing the average age right up. I cannot pinpoint the exact moment in time where I aged past that of the maximum Mayhem age range, but I’m pretty sure some of the current Mayhem occupants were still mastering their A B Cs and playing ‘kiss chase’ on the school field.
Nether the less, I dolled myself up with the classic glamorous rock chic look, Leather look leggings, a cute black and white checked top, full red lipstick and minimal but still effective smokey eye. This look was topped off with my Louboutins. I have to say, I felt pretty darn good!
It wasn’t until we arrived into town, which was about 11.30 pm, that I realised how much things had changed. It was a complete change from the more upmarket bars I usually frequent. I was overdressed, the majority of the girls there (who by the way, I’m pretty sure shouldn’t have been out that late without supervision!) were wearing casual clothes, I’m talking jeans, flat shoes and day dresses, and the guys weren’t much better.
I ignored the toddlers wobbling around the dance floor, ordered myself a Vodka lemonade and a shot, and started busting some shapes with my girls. Please note, that there is a positive correlation between the amount of alcohol I consume and my display of nostalgic 90s dance moves… (we’ll get to that later!)
Amongst the sea of prepubescent children, there were a few clusters of people possible in the same position as me, looking a little out of place but for the most part I stuck out like a sore thumb. This did attract a bit of attention, clearly some of the blokes in Southend are looking for a partner to take care of them, going straight from Mummy to a babysitting girlfriend? Definitely not my cup of tea. I tactfully ignored a few boys trying to rub up against me, but eventually I got cornered! I’d gone with one of my friends to get another drink and this predatory teenage had thought it an appropriate moment to pounce. He got far too close and tried to shout something in my ear, which only left my irritated, with a spit filled ear hole. I simply tried to brush him off but he was persistent. It was at that point I decided to break out the Robot. No one sticks around for the robot. Or so I thought. He only joined in! I tried the running man, the funky chicken and the sprinkler but I guess when that guy commits, he really commits! Finally, I managed to give him the slip and carried on with my night.
It left me thinking, how do people meet and form relationships in nightclubs? Seeing these boys throw themselves around and ogle women with their eyes almost literally popping out of their heads, is the biggest turn off for me. I don’t want some overtly handsy little boy trying to hump my leg, I want a man, who is confident enough to strike up a conversation, or at least tactful enough to not molest me at the bar.
Single in South Essex